Day 13: The Day I Licked Cheetos Dust Off My Fingers

4/21/2020 (Permalink)

I am not sure how the idea started; it felt innocent enough when I was first approached and quickly signed off on the deal. A few days passed, I didn’t think much about it and then one day I walked in and there it was plugged in and ready for my money. The first time I walked by it, I swear I heard a whisper that said, 'Put your apple down and get a bag of Cheetos.' Our office has a vending machine. Hopes of not gaining the COVID 19 diminishes with each quarter dropped into its reservoir. A bag of Cheetos is only 50 cents and it's RIGHT there. With no one in the office to observe and judge my intake, I have had more than my far share as of late. I can even be disgusting and lick the powder cheese without anyone seeing – the definition of freedom. Turns out one vending machine is not enough, you cannot have snacks without drinks. So we have a drink machine too. All the soda and energy drinks you can imagine and it even offers Yoo-hoo. Nothing reduces stress like chocolate water sweetened with corn syrup. During this time of quarantining we are thinking about the things we could accomplish. You know, "I am going to start doing (insert here)." It is a like New Years Goal in April. With Tom Brady coming to town, I ordered the TB12 book. I figure now is a good time to start. There is not a single food item within the vending machine that meets the TB12 standards. I was doomed before I started. I did read an article that said it is okay not to do much during the crisis other than survive – I am nailing that, my kind of goal. I read this in The New York Times – so there has to be some credibility, right? On the bright side, my boys think the vending machine is the coolest thing they have ever seen. I now have three bucks in quarters at all times in my truck, so feel free to stop by to commiserate with a guilt-free Coke and a bag of Cheetos on me. Just stay your distance and don’t lick the powdered cheese off your fingers -- because no one wants to see that. -JG